I know one sadder-but-wiser home cook who won't shut up about her pricey gas range making an annoying click click click…click click click… when the burners are set on low. Well, others suffer so you won't have to. Your friends will be all too willing to share their appliance-related delights and bitter disappointments. Invite yourself over to kick the tires of their new front-load washer, induction cooktop, or stainless-steel microwave. Ask if which features please them most, how often they've had to call for repairs, and what they'd do differently if they could do it again.
Never Make an Impulse Buy
Admit it—you almost bought a car once because it had really great cup holders. You can avoid similar behavior in an appliance showroom by making a list of your priority features ("energy efficient," "lifetime warranty"). Staple it to a list of competing showrooms and Web retailers so you can comparison shop for the best model with the best combination of features at the best price. Wait for a sale if you can; they say fall is the best hunting season because showrooms are trying to clear space for next year's models. Whenever you go, ask a friend with a level head to come along.
Above All, Know Thyself
Just because you watch Top Chef doesn't mean you are one. If, fact is, you live on leftover pizza, you won't be happy with a fridge that's so narrow the box has to go in vertically. One dessert maven I know nearly bought a trendy bottom-mount freezer, which would have required constant bending over to dig for the butter-pecan. Then there was the guy who brought home a supersize washer—hey, it was on sale!—before realizing he lived alone and owned only five days' worth of underwear.
Read the Fine Print
Don't even look at that seductive touch-pad-temperature-probe-microwave-option-three-way-stove-and-bottle-washer without first reading the instructions. If you find yourself unfolding a sheet of paper more delicate than a 17th-century map, with type so small you can't read the words after "CAUTION," or you find you are lost in the programming instructions on page 43 of the owner's manual—in Spanish—keep looking. This is not your perfect appliance.
Make Sure You Don't Destroy the Foyer
You'd be surprised by how many otherwise intelligent people place orders for appliances that won't fit in their allotted space—assuming their new fridge, washer, orwhatever doesn't get wedged up against the ceiling of the foyer. Appliance salespeople are full of stories about savvy customers who fail to note that the only way to access the kitchen is up a set of steep stairs, through a narrow doorway, and down a hallway that takes a sharp turn before dead-ending in a spot too small for its hoped-for purpose. Bring a map to the showroom with every single angle and dimension. If the salesperson seems to be not paying attention, ask for her home phone number so you can call at midnight to go over the measurements one more time.
Measure Three Times, Buy Once
As long as you are taking down dimensions (see "Make sure you don't destroy the foyer," previously), stop to consider how your new appliance will interact with its surroundings. Measure that counter-depth fridge's proposed parking space, then measure the fridge—again; "counter depth" may mean "except for the thick door and its beefy handle." Look behind your existing gas range; if the gas pipe protrudes, your new range may protrude too. And watch out for a fridge or front-load washer whose door opens so wide it blocks traffic, causing frustrating delays while some family member contemplates the contents of the produce drawer or the loss of a dear sock.
Prepare for Repairs
Never buy a major appliance without asking for the names and cellphone numbers of people who can service it. Service varies by brand and location. Maybe you read about those poor rich people who bought status-y European appliances for their vacation homes, only to discover that Euro appliance repair people dwell exclusively in the city.
Get Ready to Haggle
Many dealers will match the lowest price offered by the competition. If the price still seems high, see if you can negotiate a deal by buying more than one appliance at a time. When all else fails, ask for free delivery and installation or a free extended warranty. Incidentally, extended warranties are rarely worth paying for—but you probably already knew that.
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